Tyranny of Doing: Burnout

I... fell of the face of the earth for 5 months! I didn't really, but I've been so busy that every time I thought about adding something else to my plate, ie writing a newsletter my brain shut down and noped right out of there.

Maybe if I stop writing term papers and allow myself to write shorter pieces this will come back.

Therapists are taught that we need to be a "blank slate". We need to be neutral and non-judgemental, and to not share much of our lives or selves with our clients. This is generally a good thing, because we are there to care for our clients, and not have our clients care for us. But it can be lonely work, and can lead to both personal and professional burnout. The internal and external pressure to "do all the things" and "fix all the problems" when the world is on fire is going to singe us as well. I realized recently that I've hit burnout. Not professional burnout, thank goodness, but personal burnout.

(Professional burnout is dangerous to clients and clinicians, because it affects our ability to care and give care appropriately. I had a clinical supervisor who was clearly burnt out and they did so much damage to their supervisees. I am fortunate that I still love my work and feel effective at it.)

I've been reading a lot, and watching a lot of videos about neurodivergent burnout. The best ones have come from Cate Osborne (@catieosaurus in all the places) She speaks so eloquently about recognizing and recovering from neurodivergent burnout as a woman. Being a high achieving student-athlete, and now a business owner, parent, and partner, has meant that the idea of "doing less" is terrifying. I didn't figure out I had ADHD until I was in my 30s, and so "just work harder" has been the only setting for success my whole life.

I listed all the things I'm doing to a friend recently, and their eyes got really big.

-Run a solo private therapy practice, so that means I schedule, treat, document and bill all of my sessions. As well as schedule and attend all trainings and consultation meetings.

-Parent two active young children.

-Household tasks, including pet care.

-Coached my oldest's Odyssey of the Mind team, which meant 90 min practices every week where I try to convince 6 smart creative kids to all work together. This ran from November to the end of February.

-Regular workouts for both physical and mental health.

-Attempt to write a regular newsletter that keeps getting set aside in the whirl of work.

And the insidious part of being a high-achieving millennial is that the brain just keeps whispering "do more" and that it's "not enough". Because if it's hard, and we're struggling, then we're not trying hard enough. That's the lie we were told, that if we work hard we will have success. Right? It's not because the expectations of being a working parent are impossible. And that costs are rising faster than wages, again.

Rest, fun, relaxation, feel like pipe dreams when the focus is just get through the next day/week/month and keep your bank account in the black. I am fortunate to be able to afford regular self-care in the form of massage and accupuncture, and my own therapy. This is a hard season of life.

If this is you, I see you. You are far from alone in all this.

So now that OM season is over, and I have a little more brain-space, I can get back to this more regularly!